internet

"The Internet is a place where absolutely nothing happens."
Strong Bad.

Person 1: What's the matter, you look angsty.
Person 2: A WORM WAS UNLEASHED THAT DELETED ALL THE PORN ON THE INTERNET ENTIRELY!
Person 1: So, nothing as usual.

20👍 7👎

religion

A form of psychosis brought on by paranoia. Had led to more deaths than any other cause. Especially susceptible to inhabidents of Kansas and Texas.

Fuck religion. Come into the real world.

50👍 56👎

The Residents

The greatest band no one has ever heard.
Four consistent decades of high rated albums and short films really speaks for itself.

Seriously, go listen to The Residents.
Sure, their albums are harder to find than Jimmy Hoffa's first lay, but that's no excuse!

26👍 7👎

linux

You have two cows.

The city council demands that you disect one of them and allow the town citizens to do whatever they want to it.
The town citizens use genetic modification to enhance choice organs.
They take several days to re-animate the cow, until they finally have a working zombie-cow that produces SuperMilk (similar to Popeye's spinach) but random organs stop every 10 seconds, forcing the people to disect it again just to fix it.

You live happily on your regular milk while the town struggles.

No, this Linux diatribe isn't copypasta.
I'm just as astounded as you.

5👍 9👎

George Carlin

May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008
Most intelligent American that ever lived.

R.I.P, George Carlin.

708👍 82👎