Semenophilia

Noun; Disorder characterised by an overwhelming, intrusive and pathological desire of the sufferer to procure and consume male semen. Usually refers to collection of semen via sexual acts, although victims of the condition may also scrape residue from toilet walls or glory holes. Some years ago a famous group of Scottish semenophiliacs carried out an armed robbery of a Glasgow fertility center, making off with several litres of frozen spunk.

Dave: Bertha, this frig is full of little packets of mayonaise, most of which taste a bit musty!

Bertha: Dave, it is time I told you: I have disease, it's called semenophilia, and I am getting help.

Dave: So what about the mayonaise? (he isn't too bright, our Dave)

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coproglutton

Someone who greedily scoffs down faeces.

After Mandy took a big dump I asked her not to flush, cause I was hungry!

You coproglutton!

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Fosters felch

(n.v.) An Australian sexual practice similar to a regular felch, but instead of eating semen out of a body cavity, involves sucking out beer that has been sprayed into vaginal vault or rectum (usually facilitated by vigorous agitation of beverage can/bottle).

That Cheryl was a wild sheila, I Fosters felched a slab of beer from her butt hole last night!

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palinanalize

(v) To have anal sex with Governor Sarah Palin. May also refer to having anal sex with author and comedian Michael Palin.

John McCain: Whoa, that Republican cocktail part was wild, I got me some palinanalize action!
Mrs McCain: Gross!

Terry Chapman: I would love to palinanalize you Michael
Michael Palin: Aren't you dead?

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diarrhoea picnic

A social occasion, popular in Brazil. Women and men take laxatives and defecate on one another. Projectile sprays of faeces are considered the height of good form, and are usually rewarded with polite applause.

Dear, we have been invited to a diarrhoea picnic, can you pack the enemas?

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Cracking it

Undertaking sex work, working as a prostitute. (1970s Australian slang)

Sarah is cracking it for money to buy drugs.

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Menstruating whale snatch

A phrase to describe a large amount of blood, paint, tomato juice, originally coined in the 60s to describe the tomatoe orgy popular in The Village in NY, now used by reporters inveigled by the Thai red shirts.

All these Thai red shirt rioters with their paint, and OMG blood, it's like a menstruating whale snatch, yeah!

That expression captures the overwhelming red so well, I hope it makes it to Urban dicK

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