Semenophilia

Noun; Disorder characterised by an overwhelming, intrusive and pathological desire of the sufferer to procure and consume male semen. Usually refers to collection of semen via sexual acts, although victims of the condition may also scrape residue from toilet walls or glory holes. Some years ago a famous group of Scottish semenophiliacs carried out an armed robbery of a Glasgow fertility center, making off with several litres of frozen spunk.

Dave: Bertha, this frig is full of little packets of mayonaise, most of which taste a bit musty!

Bertha: Dave, it is time I told you: I have disease, it's called semenophilia, and I am getting help.

Dave: So what about the mayonaise? (he isn't too bright, our Dave)

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