Masturbation

The act of self (sexual) pleasure. Used by those who: 1) are too ugly to have real sex. 2) Those who wish to discover their bodies can still produce bodily fluids. 3) Wish to fantasize/remember mummy, daddy, brother, sister (any family relative) coming into their room late at night and doing things to them they've been told never to tell anyone about. 4) An art used by dirty old men to show the young girls watching that he really loves them. 5) What men do when they're horny but their wives/girlfriends/boyfriends aren't. 6) What women do when they're horny but their husband's/boyfriends/girlfriends aren't

"Sorry darling, I didn't mean for you to catch me masturbating in front of your sister, but I think it's only right I teach her about masturbation"

"I do apologise Officer, but I think the woman is so attractive, I had to show my love for her through masturbation"

"No, my friend, I wouldn't worry that you caught your wife in the act of masturbation. She once said that she thinks about me when she masturbates"

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