satchel butter

A man's cum; semen.

"Hey Dave, what did you do last night?"

"Tara came over and wanted to be glazed like a donut, so I painted her face with every ounce of satchel butter I had in my ball bag."

hurty squirties

Explosive diarrhea resulting from eating incredibly spicy foods, making one feel as though they are expelling liquid fire from their rectum.

"I need to stop eating at that Thai place down the street...I spent all morning on the toilet with the hurty squirties!"