April Fools

What you say when you prank someone hella hard on April Fool’s Day.

April Fools motherfuckers!

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Teacher's pet

That annoying little shit in your class who tattles on you for the dumbest shit. They act super nice toward teachers while acting like complete dicks toward the other students. Teacher's pets are often hated by their classmates for being annoying as fuck and for acting superior to other students when in reality they're the ones kissing the teacher's asses.

Me: fuck (says it quietly)
teacher's pet: mr. bates he said the f word
mr. bates (to Me): That's detention for you trouble maker. You know only adults are allowed to use that word
Me: (flips off teacher's pet while walking out)

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IML

In My Life

IML I’ve been given multiple opportunities to become a rapper

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I like your shoes

The biggest indicator of whether or not a girl truly likes someone

A girl saying “I like your shoes” is the fastest way to fuck city

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confident

What you are if you're able to talk to a person from the opposite sex without having a nervous breakdown.

Person #1: "Look that dude can just talk to any girl without even stuttering."
Person #2: "Yeah, he's hella confident."
Person #1: "I know, I wish I had that much confidence."

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breast man

1. A person who prefers titties overs ass
2. A person who loves looking through girls shirt necks as they bend toward them
3. Someone who doesn't care for twerking videos
4. A person who loves sucking girls titties while having sex
5. What gay men can't be (unless if they're fat)
6. A person who as a little kid would squeeze their moms tits and as a teen and adult other girls titties
7. Someone who says that tits can never be too big

(Breast Man watching twerking video)
Breast Man: Uhhh, why tf am i watching this (turns on vid with bouncing tits) Oh yeah, that's more like it!

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emotional definition

When you write a definition while being under extreme emotional distress in which the definition will end up sounding crazy and/or illogical

Example of a girl who broke up with his bf writing an emotional definition

Chad
A fucking dickhead asshole who cheats on his gf to fuck another slut who is way uglier than i am. He is a fuckboy who pretended to love me for who i am and now he's getting gonorrhea from some bitch cunt with a slutty attitude.

example
Jared I know you're fucking reading this and I hope you die in hell for what you've done to me. Fuck you

(Note this did not actually happen but there are definitions like this on UD)

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