Putacracy

System of government where all decisions are made by prostitutes.

I was sitting in Senator Crumb's office the other day and a lobbyist came in with a bill written and a box full of money. We're living in a Putacracy

Boner of Contention

The situation that arises, as it were, when you have a major erection and your wife, girlfriend or boyfriend isn't into having sex with you. The offending and engorged member is referred to the boner of contention.

My wife was napping the other day and I showed up with a woody. She dick slapped me and we've been dealing with the boner of contention ever since.

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