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Suburbs extending out for an absurd distance from a city center. To be truly hell, these suburbs have to have absolutely no mixed use developments. Extra points if there's a sea of parking lots outside all stores.
Suburban hell is either car focused (growing because of middle-class, mostly white families seeing the city centre as "rough") or the result of high-capacity transit (i.e metro systems) going too far out of an urban centre. The latter example tends to devolve into the former.
Examples of cities that are surrounded by suburban hell:
London (It's not just an American problem)
Phoenix (A bunch of suburbs disguised as a city)
New York City (Especially in Long Island and New Jersey)
Los Angeles (Hope you like highways)
Shanghai (to an absurd degree)
These areas tend to have lots of homeowners. Said homeowners have also probably bought all the residential properties in downtown as an investment so nobody can actually live there. They also are the proud owners of large SUVs if only to compensate for something.
Bob: Are we out of London yet?
Mike: Not even close. There's umpteen thousand miles of suburban hell to get through.
18👍 2👎
Different types of suburbia:
Northeast Suburb: A standard suburb, filled with endless single family houses, affluent moderate liberals and their children. You can find a lot of these in New Jersey and Long Island.
Midwest Suburb: Where the Republican Party and Walmart are cornerstones of the community. You WILL get funny looks if you drive through here as a black person.
Gated Community: Paranoid and rich nutcases, mostly. Also most of the town is just golf courses.
Sun Belt Suburb: Filled with retirees who contribute absolutely nothing to the downtown economy besides their taxes.
Streetcar Suburb: Suburbs that have townhomes and the occasional apartment building. They tend to be affluent and liberal, like the Northeast Suburb but more diverse. You can actually walk to the store or catch the bus here.
Exurbs: Generally isolated culs-de-sac off a rural road/highway. God help the kids that grow up here. The home turf of McMansions.
Bob: Growing up in suburbia as an only child was hellâ¦
David: I grew up in the suburbs and it was fineâ¦
Bob: I didnât mean âthe northernmost parts of the Bronxâ I meant Pond Heights in the middle of buttfuck Egypt.
Being stubborn and doing fuck-all whilst shit hits the fan in the apparent hope that things will blow over. This doesnât stop the shit hitting the fan in any way, which makes it more or less the lazy version of the similar term âdigging yourself deeperâ.
Boris âBlowjobâ Johnson refusing to resign is just him standing in quicksand.
Was created as a Debian fork specifically intended to make penetration testing on the âUniversal Operating Systemâ have a simpler setup process. You just plug and play. BlackArch and Pentoo would be comparable distributions.
Nowadays the butt of many jokes among the Linux community as its users are often seen as script kiddies. r/KaliLinux is filled with demonstrations of what happens when you make an absolute beginner the sysadmin of whatâs essentially just Debian Unstable (hint: nothing good for them, but funny for us).
Xayden: IM GONNA HACK YOUR ROUTER! I USE KALI LINUX AND IM THE GOD OF HACKING!
Bob: Ethical hacking is how I pay the bills. I use Pentoo consistently for purposes that arenât running 10000 different Wine applications - I.e. finding any security holes that some kid using Kali would try to exploit and stopping idiots trying to hack my clients. Please, take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why you even installed Kali.
Beyond even a lemon on the citrus scale. This is reserved for the lewdest of the lewd fanfics. The kind with fetishes not even DeviantArt would allow. Some timeâs thereâs barely even a plot, just nothing but the authorâs oddly specific and/or gross as fuck fetish and copyrighted characters participating in them. You, a person finding such a fanfic, were either looking for it or you made the mistake of asking for context when somebody joked about the grapefruit.
If you go out and pick grapefruits, be warned that Rule 36 will be constantly proven to you the hard way.
Bob: Aliceâs Harry Potter grapefruit is something else, man. What perverted mind wants to read about Hermione getting a Manhattan transfer from Luna?
David: A Manhattan what-now?
Bob: You donât want to know.
The fuck are you doing here? Get back to work and stop looking up le epic funni words on Urban Dictionary.
Iâm bored, so Iâm gonna look up âsexâ on Urban Dictionary.
A vehicle driven by Karens who think that because their parents drove a minivan it's automatically uncool to drive one.
They also guzzle a butt ton of gas, and yet the drivers of them still feel a need to complain about fuel.
2000: I'm not going to drive a minivan, that's what my parents drove! Uncool!
2020: I'm not going to drive a SUV, that's what my parents drove! Uncool!