Fresno

AKA "Hell on Earth"
AKA "The Little City That Couldn't"
AKA "Tha 'No"
AKA "The Anti-San Jose"
AKA "FresNever"
AKA "The Urban STD"
AKA "Fuckno"
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Large Central California city too cool for its own good---Only California city people from out of state would never attempt to move into.
Population of about 480,000
Uneducated chimps and religious nutcases dominate city politics
Obsession with the Fresno State Bulldogs (a college sports program that wins near nothing and thrives at it)
Bitterly cold winters and regular cases of deadly fog
Methane and various agricultural smells overpowering to the normal human
Hellish summer heat (highs of around 115 in July and August)
Brown people (of all varieties) everywhere
White hicks and dimwits all over the place
Known for its lack of attractions and actual things to do
Central Valley Coyotes football passes for entertainment
Universities thrive on old age commuters
Gangsters on every poorly lit streetcorner waiting to pounce
Pervasive consumer mentality and obsession with spending hard earned money on material objects
Fast food on each of the 2,206 city intersections
Homeowners who do not want you or your family to live next to them-----give 'em a break they're trying to maintain property value!------they live in Fresno, CA however

Person 1: Bro, I could go for Taco Bell, a Quizno sub, McDonalds, and some Cold Stone ice cream right about now.
Person 2: Yeah, too bad we aren't in Fresno.
Person 1: Tell me about it! Then again, I can do without a stabbing.

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