puddle-jumper

A light aircraft, particularly a single-engined private aircraft with limited range and performance; used perjoratively by "real" pilots.

"The day job is jockeying 777's, but I have a Cessna puddle-jumper for the weekends".

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five and five

In R/T (radio telephone) parlance, a report on signal strength (1 - 5) and quality (1 - 5).

Hence, "I ready you two and four" means "your signal is weak, but I can hear you clearly".

By inference, "five and five" means "really good" ?

"How's the pizza ?"
"Five and five."

"We dropped into <drinking establishment> - the beer was crap, but the scenery was five and five."

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book of words

1. The instructions, user or technical manual for a piece of equipment.

2. By inference, any important piece of documentation, either as treeware or in electronic form.

"Where's the Book of Words for the router ?"

"I've logged the fault in the Book of Words."

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Scruttock's "Old Dirigible"

A fictional type of Real Ale, of allegedly lethal alcohol content and the tendency to produce a barin-crushing hangover the next day.

See also "Suicider"

"Christ, you look rough ! What have you been doing ?"

"Awwww..... the usual .... went out with the lads last night and had eleventeen pints of Scruttock's "Old Dirigible", then a curry..... got any aspirin ?"

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oldthinker

A newspeak word invented by george orwell in his book 1984.

An oldthinker is one who clings to old or outmoded ways of thought. Orwell defines it as, "... typical sentence .... as 'Oldthinkers unbellyfeel Ingsoc'. The shortest rendering that one could make of this in Oldspeak would be: 'Those whose ideas were formed before the Revolution cannot have a full emotional understanding of the principles of English Socialism.' But this is not an adequate translation.....

Used by geeks in a perjorative way about anyone who is not techno-savvy.

"My Dad's a real Oldthinker - he won't even have a mobile phone !"

"Come the Revolution, all you Oldthinkers will be put up against a wall and shot !"

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Sith Tzu

A Shih Tzu which has turned to the Dark Side of the Force. Since they are highly intelligent, mischevious and arrogant anyway, this is but a small step. Many Shih Tzu look like small hairy versions of Yoda anyway.

"That... that .... er ... dog ? life form ? what ? has just stolen my mobile phone from my jacket pocket and hidden it under the sofa !"

"Sorry, he's a Sith Tzu..... he can't resist being evil."

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Total replacement therapy

When something is so badly damaged that the only option is to get a new one; it might be a critical component, or the whole thing.

"Can you fix it ?"

"No. Your hard drive is screwed. Total replacement therapy is indicated."

"Bugger !"