Guacophobe

Noun, polar opposite of a Guacophile with tendencies to fly into fits of rage upon mere sight of an avocado. Normally found anywhere from the Midlands and upwards. All round sound geezer and inspiration to us all, hates fishing.

"Want an Avocado, Daz?

"No Thanks, I'm a bit of Guacophobe, I'd sooner cry wank in a 7 series"

Blackburn Spray Tan

The act of decorating your legs following a spontaneous releasing of ones bowels.

"Ay-up, Craig. Your legs are looking a healthy shade, you been abroad?"

"Fraid not, got caught short on the way back to the camper and give miself a Blackburn Spray Tan"

Guacophile

Noun; Person addicted to the laboured product of the avocado. Normally residents of the south of England with penchant for fishing or other pointless activities.

Rob's making Guacamole again? He's a right Guacophile, that bellpiece!