Sorority Voice

This wild vocal phenomenon is found to effect a very peculiar species: the sorority girl. As we all know, members of sororities take part in parties on a near daily basis. Their combination of screaming, ceaseless talking, binge drinking, smoking, and 3rd-basing leaves a lasting, and negative, impression on their throat. As a result their typically high pitched voice falls to a raspy death tone. This sad sound comes out as though they were an 85 year old male who smoked for the majority of his life, despite the fact that these girls are between the ages of 18-23.

It is found to regularly incite anger in gentlemen within earshot. Males are expected to have lower voices than females, but compared to a "sorority voice": we're all sopranos.

Sorority girl *in deep Dracula voice* : "Oh my gosh I had the best time at Beta last night. We partied hard until like 3 am".

Boy 1 : "Why is your voice so disgusting?".

Boy 2 : "It's the result of sorority voice".

60👍 2👎