desk roll

The act of rolling under your desk while at work to take a nap. An overwhelming feeling of sleepiness comes over you and the need for a resting place (under your desk) is inevitable.

Typically this works for employees with offices, not a cubicle. To avoid suspicion it is best to leave your door open, turn off your lights, and move your laptop (if you have one) under your desk with you so that everyone thinks that you are gone. Secret compartments to hide your belongings (jackets, hats, or whatever else might give you away) are not necessary, but can be very cool. This maneuver is not recommended for those that snore.

Employee 1: "Dude, I thought you had left for the day..."

Employee 2: "Nah, I did a desk roll after lunch. I couldn't stay awake after my Thai lunch."

self-motivation

masturbation

I had some trouble starting my day, so after a little self-motivation I was able to find the energy to get going.

11👍 6👎

vicotyping

The act of composing and sending a letter while under the influence of the pain killer Vicodine or other narcotic.

My boss, John, wrote me and everyone else in the office the shittiest emails after his surgery last week. He must have been out of his right mind and vicotyping.

4👍 1👎

CTRL ALT DEL

The solution to every problem

Guy 1: I'm bleeding!
Guy 2: Just type ctrl alt del and you'll be fine