Academic Hustler

Like any other hustler, they determine the most effective courses of action to minimize expenditure and maximize
results. These particular hustlers know that studying does not produce good grades – efficient studying does. These students are able to do well, have a good time, and work to live, not the other way around.

Sometimes mistaken for high-achieving slackers, but there is a large difference between the two. The former generally does well because they are good at school, but, if they have to choose between working very hard and a good grade, they will choose to slack off. The academic hustler, however, for whom success is most important, always works as hard as is necessary, though strenuous work is rare, due to their academic efficiency and social and psychological prowess.

Example 1:
Nerd: I studied for 32 hours straight and got an B- in Neuromolecular Statistical Modeling, the hardest class in the college!

Academic Hustler: Good for you? I took the class, "Love Songs," got an A, hung out every night this week, and got laid an equal number of times.

Example 2:
High-Achieving Slacker: That senior paper sounds like a lot of work; fuck it, let's go drinking.

Academic Hustler: Dude, you need a good grade on that to get into Law School; normally I'd go with you, but, sometimes you have to work hard. I'll come visit you at community college.

Example 3:
Inefficient studier: I read, then re-read, then re-read the book! How did I only get a "B" on the exam?

Academic Hustler: Next time read it once with intense concentration, take the most necessary notes, then read over your notes and the bullet points at the end of the chapter before the test, this gives you the general points and the most relevant specifics. Guaranteed "A."

Example 4:
Idiot: I'll retire when I'm dead.

Academic Hustler: Your work is going to kill you. I'm working, but it practically feels like I'm retired. And, the moment I have made enough to retire and live decently, I'll leave this job and go travel the world, volunteer, spend time with friends and family, and do everything in this world that means anything. By the way, have you gotten a chance to sail that boat you bought last year?

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