Poped

To be elected to the position of Pope in the Roman Catholic Church.
Steps to become "Poped" if interested:
1. Become a Priest
2. Study a lot, especially abroad in Italy
3. Become a Bishop
4. Be nominated an Archbishop by the current Pope
5. Get into the College of Cardinals
6. Current Pope must die somehow
7. Be elected with a 2/3 majority by your fellow Cardinals
8. Know you are now the most pious MoFo out there, and POPE IT UP

Some DO's and DON'T's can't hurt either:
DO be Catholic
DO be very religious and pious
DON'T violate your chastity
DON'T make racy jokes from the pulpet
DO avoid drinking too much of "the Blood of Christ"
DO avoid 'encounters' with choir boys
DON'T be seen in public listening to "Get Back" by Ludacris
DON'T be a member of the KKK
DO be wise, and preferably very old and wizened-looking
DO enjoy the look of the Pope-Mobile
and most importantly....
NEVER, under ANY circumstances, say "Goddamn it!"

Follow these simple steps and rules, and you will be the next Peter John Benedict XXX, or whatever you choose to be your name.

Benedict XVI: The happiest day of my life was when I was Poped by the College of Cardinals

John Paul II: But what about you doing nothing since my death?

Benedict XVI: I....uhhh...

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