Ewan

A complete fuckin genius with the biggest cock in the world. A man who makes the ladies week at the knees. Everyone wants to be him.

Woman: Oh Ewan your so fuckin great pound my mound with your huge cock.
Ewan: Shut up bitch! I'm gonna slam your back door out, whip it out and give you a creamy beaver, then stick it in your mouth so you can clean off your own shit!!
Woman: Oh good tanks!!!

1186👍 660👎

pancaked

When a virgin gets her arse and then her pussy fucked for the first time in the same night.

(Girl crying on the phone to her mum after her wedding night)
"Oh mummy I don't like marrige.....it hurts"
"Why's that sweetie"
"Cos I was pancaked last night and I'm bleeding from both ends"

26👍 69👎

gelato

When a Clam Bumper licks 'The Muff'.

Gina loves her Gelato, she's such a rug muncher!

22👍 79👎