Cheapus Rentucabrus

Cheapus rentucabrus

Distinguishing characteristics: wimpy cartilage (the species is an invertebrate) and a deeply concave chest, very crusty lazy eyes.

Cheapus rentucabra takes pride in its ability to feed off its girlfriend to pay its mortgage.
It is also known to humble brag as frequently as possible and leave unanswered the calls of the dying.
The rentucabra is a slacker who detests social friction. He remains at the same place of employment for long periods of time because he is not hirable elsewhere.

What a rentucabra (Cheapus Rentucabrus) might say:

“Dude, my girlfriend pays rent and it goes straight towards my mortgage.”

E. Cheapus Rentucabrus

E. Cheapus rentucabrus

Distinguishing characteristics: invertebrate, deeply concave chest, extensive stretch marks, and crusty lazy eyes.

E. Cheapus rentucabrus takes pride in its ability to feed off its girlfriend to pay its mortgage.

It is also known to humble brag as frequently as possible and leave unanswered the calls of the dying.

What E. Cheapus Rentucabrus might say:

“Dude, my girlfriend pays rent and it goes straight towards my mortgage, dude.”