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Twilight Saga

A generally addicting and well written, but extremely cliche series by Stephanie Meyer.
The four books in order are: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. The saga has been a sensation amoung teenage girls.

Here is my run-down of the series:

Twilight: A plain and clumsy teenage girl named Bella moves to a small town called Forks were no plotline exists. There all the guys in town fall in love with our not so pretty protagonist(????)Anyways Bella meets the town hottie, Edward who (guess what) is a vampire. (But don't be misled, he's not allergic to garlic bread and dosn't spontaneosly combust when you put him in the sun.)In fact he has no fangs, sparkles, and can be seen in a mirror. Edward himself, who diets on animal blood, is quite lacking in personality for a hundred year old emortal. He is descirbed as being God-like and generally perfect. Oh yes, and aparently Bella smells yummy. In summary the first book is a lot of Edward saying "Stay away from me I'm a monster!" And Bella Saying "No I love you!"

New Moon: Edward leaves Bella for her "own good" so Bella turns emo. She begins to hang out with her friend Jacob who of course turns out to be a werewolf. Bella is extremely clingy and Jacob falls for her, but of course Bella can't live without Edward and rather then seeing a therapist, resorts to throwing herself off of cliffs. Edward beleiving she's dead, tries to get himself killed by the vampire mofia. In the end they become a couple again and no one dies.

Eclipse: Bella can't pick between Edward and Jacob, so the whole story becomes a sick love-triangle. Oh yes and some vampires want to kill Bella again so it becomes epic. Then Bella picks Edward, the end.

Breaking Dawn: Wow. So Edward and Bella get married, then they go to a private island and have oodles of sex, which resorts in torn up pillows and broken head boards. Then we find out Bella is pregnant with a rapidly growing mutant demon baby. Cute. So anyways the baby basically beats up Bella from the inside and drinks blood as a fetus. Then for several chapters Jacob takes over narration and complains a lot. Finally Bella gets a c-section that Edward performs with his teeth, and she becomes a vampire. And after it seems it can't become anymore disturbing Jacob imprints (falls in love) with the mutant baby named Renesmee. Long story short the vampire mofia wants to kill the baby which resorts in a very anti-climactic meeting. And the saga ends with Bella and Edward having more vampire sex. The end.

The books are so popular they have begun to make them into movies, and many teenage girls are swooning for the fictional character Edward. The Twilight saga has created a very large fandom.

The Twilight Saga is over-rated.

I love the Twilight Saga!

by FantasyBandit April 19, 2009

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