Gurgle Birth

While your baby mama is in the final stages of childbirth, insist she give you a BJ at the same time.

If you can match blast off time with your kid being born...you, fine sir, are a LEGEND.

Baby mama gave me a gurgle birth while having my kid

My baby mama gave me a gurgle birth.

Drumsticky

While getting a BJ and just as it time to blow yell 'LOOK!' and point at something. As she turns her head, grab it and jizz deep into her ear.

Good luck with those Q-tips and that sticky eardrum bitchhhhhh.

How's the drumsticky used? Straight degradation, that's how

Tugboat

Bury your face in those tatas while she spanks your monkey. That's a tugboat...no more, no less.

I met this husky chick at Walmart in the feminine hygiene aisle.

Obviously you dont smash, but a tugboat is in the cards.

Cum 'n Go

When the pussy is so trash that you slit your own wrists mid bang.

Up the river, not across the stream...this isn't a cry for help, its time to cum 'n go.

She said she loved me, so I gave her the cum 'n go.

Biscuit Canning

Slam your boner on the edge of a counter until it splits open and doubles in size. Kinda like leaving a hot dog on the grill too long...

Remember...girth is what it's worth.

Ended up biscuit canning myself because that hoe had birthed many children. Couldn't measure up till I biscuit canned my schlong.

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