Bears

A terrifying beast that will literally rip your face of just so that he can show his bear buddies how stupid you look. A bear will fuck your mother while fingering your little sister and then eat your pancreas while drilling a hole in the top of your head and then pissing up your nose an out that hole.

A bear can swallow an orange and shit out a new world religion.

When you see waves at the beach, its because the ocean is trying to escape from bears who feel like swimming.

A retarded boy from Wisconsin once hugged a bear on a camping trip long ago. That boy turned out to be Jesus.

The Space Shuttle was originally created to escape from Bears and find a new bear-free planet. The Appollo and Columbia shuttles had the misfortune of not bear-proofing the doors.

The Extinction of the Dinosaurs was actually caused by one Bear and 7 Beers.

Friday the 13th is based on the true story of a Bear who got bored on day.

A Grizzly from Northern Canada has more friends on Myspace than Tom.

God decided one day to fight a Bear in one of his forests. The outcome resulted in the forest becoming the Sahara Desert and God becoming Anna Nicole Smith.

Bears

"Hey, I heard Chuck Norris died yesterday." "Yeah, he made a Bear joke in public."

"How did Jeff die?" "A Bear" "A Bear ate him?" "No, it hit him while going 60 in a 03 Toyota."

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