Autozoner

An employee of the Autozone Corporation that is expected to know everything about your shit green Plymouth Voyager or your decaying Nissan Maxima that has thirty different engine codes, a missing fender, and various dings and dents covering its decrepit body. An autozoner must be a first-class bullshitter to conjure such ridiculous answers to questions like “what the fuck do you mean I can’t get a valve cover gasket for my Daewoo Lanos?!” or the ever so popular caliper bracket for any given jalopy. Autozoner’s whole heartily love to hear the words “I’m going to Advance” or any of the other incompetent auto part’s stores to get these ill-bred people out of our store. Autozoner’s dread the question “well, can you just come out and look at it?” just take the fucking thing to an actual mechanic you inconsiderate fuck-up.

I hate being an Autozoner.

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