cigarette tree

A marijuana plant

Bill: Hey dude, I got some baby plants off that batch of seeds I ordered from Amsterdam-- think we could hide some crop in with your parents' tomatoes?

Wayne: DUUUUDE, No effin' way! My mom would crap a brick if she found a bunch of cigarette trees in her garden!

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Dogwalker

Also "dog walker". A homosexual male, usually (but not always) rather effeminate. So called because of the greater-than-average percentage of gay males in the pet-care and pet-grooming industry, and the fairly common practice among gays as well as straights of walking dogs at the park or other public place as a way of meeting people.

"Man, check out those two guys over there with the pink poodles. What a couple of dogwalkers!"

"That sissy works for my veterinarian. The job suits him perfectly-- he's a real dogwalker."

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fuck fruit

A baby, especially as the result of spontaneous sex.

Brit and Josh hooked up for a few minutes of drunk sex, but she got knocked up and popped out a little fuck fruit 9 months later.

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left handed compliment

A criticism or insult disguised as a compliment.

A compliment with two meanings, one of which is unflattering to the receiver.

Also called backhanded compliment

Patti sees Britney wearing a sexy new dress. Patti, who really doesn't like Britney, says, "That dress is really sharp. It really makes you look so slim!" Left handed compliment: "You're fat, and that dress makes you look like you're trying to hide it."

"Boy, you're pretty hot... for a fat (or skinny) chick!" Left handed compliment: Self-explanatory

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rat

A fart, especially a rippingly loud and long one. So called because of the sound... "RRRRRRRAT!!"

I ate beans and rice for dinner last night and now I've been cutting rats all day.

"I just heard you rip a rat right then, you nasty bastard!"

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rat dog

A very small dog, usually less than 10 or 15 pounds, usually short-haired but not always. Usually not of much practical use as a watchdog or protector, but kept mainly as a companion by little old ladies, gay men who don't like cats, and Paris Hilton. Includes such breeds as the Chihuahua, the Miniature Pinscher, the Rat Terrier and other similarly sized breeds.

"That rat dog is 3 years old and he isn't housebroken YET?"

"I swear, if that rat dog tries to bite me again, I'll stuff him in a sock and hang him up as cat bait!"

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golden larva

A baby or child, especially when the parent receives lots of additional benefits as the result of giving birth... such as extra benefits at work that are not available to those without children like childcare stipends, family-leave time, flex or comp time for family or school functions, etc. Golden-larva benefits for the unemployed include easier access to Medicaid, WIC, food stamps and other government or charity assistance and grants.

Childfree co-worker: "Hey, can you stay over for a few extra minutes tonight to help with cleanup?"

Breeder co-worker: "No, I have to leave early again to pick my baybee up from the sitter. Oh, and my sitter can't watch the baybee tomorrow so I won't be in. I'll need you to do the ordering for me, if you would."

Childfree: "Man, I'm doing a lot of extra work on account of you and that golden larva of yours..."

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