parker

parker is one of the funniest people you will ever meet. though she struggles in her own ways, she is always careful not to show it and to spread bad bitch energy and kindness everywhere ever she goes. if you ever feel upset or anxious, she is the first person you will go to. expect to be fed and comforted.

that being said, don't hurt her. you will regret it. they don't respond well to toxic friends, but if you are loyal and sweet (also need a bit of baddie energy) parker is sure to keep you forever. look, they can't go four minutes without making a gay joke. but they are good ones. trust me. she likes women. and her girlfriend. especially her gf.

in all due honesty parker is bound to be your favorite person, ik shes mine. she will make you laugh until your ribs hurt and will stay up all night in your kitchen eating oranges and drinking milk. perfect combo.

parker loves going everywhere with her best friends, especially south congress in austin and eating at Elizabeth street and going for a burger at cafe no se.

thank mother earth for parker, darling.

human: bro who is that girl? she looks hot.
friend: um dude. that's parker. and its never gonna happen.