Glarg

Male, 30-something, Patriots fan.

Very or slightly overweight dude commonly with long messy hair, poor hygiene, age old clothes. No sexual attraction whatsoever. More than likely hanging out with a taller, handsomer, clean cut guy of same age and background in order to have the women in his same vicinity.

Most commonly the GLARG is from the North Eastern part of the continental United States and has relocated to warmer and a more metropolitan area.

Becomes second tier when women approach the taller friend. Usually just shunned away with a kind insult.

Woman walks up to two guys in a bar and says to the taller one...

WOMAN: "Excuse me, my friends over there are interested in you. What is your name?"

TALL FRIEND: (being polite and introducing his less fortunate friend) "Hi, I'm Jeff and this is my friend Glenn!"

WOMAN: "Was that Glarg???"

GLENN (GLARG): (furious but controlled) "No, Glenn, two N's..."

WOMAN: (Interested in the Tall Friend) "Whatever, anyway Jeff, my friends....."

Usually this leaves the GLARG enraged and hateful, but still drinks the night away.

6👍 4👎

Mr. Bottles

A legend around the west side of Los Angeles. Mr. Bottles is said to be of Guatemalan descent but stands near 6 feet all, a freak of his species. Mr. Bottles is said to roam the streets of West LA collecting bottles from trash bins and using force to steal them from other Mexican bottle collectors. He also, as legend says, is known to be a Chuck Mangione fan. This is stated because neighbors have said to have heard "Feels so Good" being played from his home in the early morning hours. Also, his hired hands (Mr. Bottles has been known to use a Buntry on occasion) have said to have been beaten and embarrassed by Mr. Bottles for either being stoned on the job or just making stupid decisions. Legend has it, if you listen on a clear, full moon night you can hear Mr. Bottles collecting valuable recyclables while swerving to the tunes of Chuck Mangione.

"Yo man, straighten up!!! Mr. Bottles catch you slippin, he gonna bust a cap in both our asses!!! Now stop smoking that sherm!!!"

"I was trying to sleep in this morning after working all night at the saw mill, but fucking Mr. Bottles decided to start organizing his bottle collection - CLANG!! CLANG!! CLANG!!"