North Carolina

The coast is home to the mini redneck riviera that is Carolina Beach. Wilmington is home to more drug addicts and convicts with a southern twang then you can count! The piedmont is home to the mighty Bull City. Durham is a gangster city and spawned the hell-demons known as the 83 Babies. While you’re there you can enjoy the gangster classic “Welcome to Durham”, a documentary that actually paints Durham in a realistic light, fucc Duke! Then North Cakolackey has Asheville… a bizarre city full of weirdos, convicts, hardcore drug work camps, and prisons! Asheville is in the mountains, and despite it being a supposed “liberal” city, the only liberals there are actually the yankee transplants nobody likes and the college students. The real inhabitants are old Cackolackey mountain folk. On your way to Asheville you can enjoy a highway adorned with gigantic rebel flags, marking your go-to destinations for your best deals for a pound of high speed chicken feed. Yes indeed, North Cack is a DRUGGED OUT state. It’s also the 6th blackest state in the nation, so even all the way up in the mountains you can enjoy many authentic ghettos for your must-have fentanyl needs. Oh yeah, North Carolina is a VERY southern state. You haven’t heard a drawl until you’ve spoken to a real North Carolinian.

Oh North Carolina is soooo much better then South Carolina… no, I’ve never ventured passed my college campus… oh wait, yes I have! I go down town! And hiking in the woods! I’m from New York but I know sooo much about this state that I feel I should write the definition here for North Carolina!