Please Die

A response for when your friends decide to make a sad, tasteless joke, bring up a touchy memory, or just do some weird, pointless shit, that makes one question as to why a bus has not proceeded to hit them yet.

Person one: Do you want to hear a joke?
Person two: Uh, sure?
Person one: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Person two: ...
Person one: Because he wasn't peeling well!
Person two: Please die...

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Pompous-Oaf

A person who is super self-absorbed and arrogant, but at the same time is an uncultured-swine. This phrase would most likely be used around your close friends, as a playful insult to their intelligence and other aspects of their personality.

Debra you pompous-oaf!