Pionel Pepsi

Washed up pen merchant that is said to have haunted relegation clubs like Eibar and Mallorca. Currently farming in the Uber Eats league but is finished and only has 2 goals this season. Known to ghost on big game occasions such as his missed penalty against Chile in the Copa America 2016 final and in the 2014 World Cup final against Germany. Finished player who played for a finished club for most of his career. He is most recently found missing pens in the champions league against Real Madrid.

Me: Grandpa, who is Pionel Pepsi?

Grandfather: Never speak of his name again - he is a washed up dwarf pen merchant who only scores against shite teams like Bolivia and Eibar

210👍 6👎

Twathouse Cunt

Someone is a fucking donkey and annoys the fuck out of you. Commonly used as a term to describe shite footballers

Davor Å uker is a twathouse cunt!

Fut Champs

One of the worst possible gaming experiences. Purposely made to induce anger in you. The home of many cunt Timmys who sweat it out with Mbappe and Neymar while only doing byline cutbacks for goals. Will make you break your controller.

Me: Yo Jimmy why’d you just smash your controller on the ground, those things are worth 60 bucks

Jimmy: It’s fine, I usually break controllers while playing fut champs

Shithoused

When a fucking shithole football team ties or wins against a good team.

West Brom fucking shithoused a 1-1 draw out of their game against Liverpool.

6👍 6👎