Crystal

She's a huge manipulating cunt bag that will do or screw anything for a dollar.

Not pretty enough to be such a gaping asshole, but picks easy and sad men to take advantage of.

Pretends to be country, and like football; but doesn't know how to bait a hook, or what division her favorite 'team' is on.

Unfortunate Guy "She told me I'm her one and only!"
Guys Friend "Yea bro. And she also just made you buy her $50 worth of Chinese food."

Crystal "Ohhh touchdown!"
Unfortunate Guy "Umm...this is hockey."

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