Slaughterhouse-Five

A book by Kurt Vonnegut where this guy named Billy Pilgrim gets absolutely shit on during World War 1, the '60s, and the future all at the same time. During World War 1 Billy over here pissed off this guy named Roland Weary who died on his way to some concentration camps but Roland over here wanted blood so he got this guy named Paul Lazarro to fry his ass. Lazarro does it but he takes his sweet ass time doing it, finally getting around to it in the '70s. In the '60s Billy lives as an optometrist who has a huge wife. Like TLC My 600 Pound Life level weight on that person. She also had the IQ of a lukewarm potato. She got in a car accident on her way to meet Billy in the hospital and her muffler fell off and she died of carbon monoxide poisoning in the parking lot. What a dumbass. In the future, Billy gets abducted by aliens. They aren't the Aliens type of aliens and instead of forcing Billy to give the most aggressive blowjob ever, they hook him up. This Montana Wildhack that they have for him must be some repayment for his fatass wife because she was fine. One thing leads to another and they fuck. The creepy-ass, spider fucked a plunger-looking Tralfamadorians decided to enjoy the show. Then some other shit happens and then Billy dies. So it goes.

Billy Pilgrim got absolutely shit on in Slaughterhouse-Five

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