shittake mushrooms

(n.) My dad's version of shit when he doesn't want to use the real swear word.

Me: Cris was telling lies to me today.
Dad: Did you tell her she's full of shittake mushrooms?

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vendiments

(n.) One puts condiments on their hot dogs and/or hamburgers. Vendiments are the tasty items you get out of the vending machine.

me: I want some raviolis...u?
Noah: Yeah.
*at the the snack machine*
Me: Mmm, I love me some vendiments.
Noah: Vendiments? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.HA.LOLZ.

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