Ballah

The twin brother of Allah. Unlike Allah, Ballah is not all powerful. He considers himself more of an "ideas guy". The Allah Ballah brothers used to be inseparable, but now the two rarely talk after having a falling out. According to Ballah, Allah stole his idea to create the universe. He does admit it was Allah who actually went through with the plan, he just feels he should get more credit.

One should always praise Allah because Allah is great; and respect Ballah, he's pretty good.

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teevee

TV spelled out phonetically. Used by morons who apparently aren't aware that TV isn't a word, it's an abbreviation for the word television.

"On your paper here, you wrote "teevee". Why did you spell it that way?"
"Herp derp isn't that how it's spelled?"
"(facepalm)...No. It's just spelled TV. The letter T, then the letter V. That's it."

96👍 13👎

USMC

United States Marine Corps.

Currently operating as their own branch of the US Military, the USMC was originally infantry for the US Navy. What is not commonly known (even among Marines) is that to this day the USMC is still officially part of the Navy. While they may operate independently of the Navy, the USMC has never technically been made its own branch.

Generally, Marines tend to despise the Navy (as well as the Army and Air Force) and its members, regarding them as inferior. This being the case, pointing out that the USMC is part of the Navy is often the simplest way to anger a Marine. Angering a Marine can be very funny or very stupid. Do so at your own risk.

The USMC is technically, officially, and administratively part of the Navy.

552👍 145👎

South Beach Diet

The Atkins diet for dummies.

Dr. Atkins said you should eat nutrient rich carbs instead of nutrient deficient carbs. This appears to be a simple idea, yet apparently figuring out that this means eating spinach instead of potatoes or broccoli instead of corn is akin to rocket science for the unwashed masses. So in comes the South Beach Diet, which is exactly the same except it breaks everything down into "good carbs" and "bad carbs".

Anyone who thinks the South Beach Diet is different than Atkins is an idiot.

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Bloomingdale's

A fancy name for Macy's, as Macy's wholly owns and operates Bloomindale's.

Come shop at Bloomingdale's. I swear we aren't Macy's!

The fact my paycheck says "Macy's" doesn't mean anything...

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spit or swallow

To spit or swallow after oral sex is actually a false choice, since these are not the only two options. In fact most girls (gay men as well) choose to swallow, or do not allow the man to come in their mouth at all. Very few intentionally take a load in the mouth only to spit it back out.

Man: So, spit or swallow, baby?

Woman: Umm... maybe you could come on my boobs instead?

Man: Oh. Uhh... yeah! That'd be awesome!

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The secret

"The secret" is to take old, uncopyrighted material, republish and sell it as your own, and make millions. This isn't what the book "The secret" will tell you, but it's how the author got rich.

I just discovered "The secret" to easy wealth! It's plagiarism!

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