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A swoggletron is a guy who thinks he is better at something than everyone else when in reality he has just read some wikipedia articles and thinks they're an expert while actually being the worst choice for the job.
Person 1 "We need some help with landscaping, got any leads?" Person 2 "what about Phil?" Person 1 "No man Phil is a swoggletron." person 2 "Good point."
bread is short for breadward, ham is short for hamantha
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Something that is clearly just not good.
Person 1 "I had wicked diarrhea at my friend's wedding." Person 2 "Dang, that must be a total gravel dumpster."