Ian

Ian; a villainous fiend, notorious for copius and voluptuous quantities of gangster shit.
He has a silver tongue that can convince you to take a trip to hell and look forward to the trip like a vacation in Honolulu. He may look like an honest man, but is cunning, harbors many clandestine secrets and a special malice for anyone who gets in his way.

Also known for his exceptional cooking.

"Yo, my man, you see that guy, I think he took my keys!"

"Let it go G, that's Ian."

"The hell you mean? Foo's comin up on my shit"

"I mean his pass-time consists of unaliving foos like you caught lacking, he's the walking definition of fuck around and find out."