kyle

a prude, pimple-pooping, procrastinating, x-box addicted, slow, hopeless, lifeless queer who spends his days going to school, making bad grades, and then going straight home on fridays (like he has anything better to do). He then sits on his cheap ass watching television and lusting unmercefully about celebrities and people that go to his school. He sits in his little "shelter" for many hours at a time, so many that stretch marks have begun to develop on his lower back and hips stretching down to the butt. He eats dinner from 4 o'clock till around 9:30 that night, or, at least, he says he does. But really everyone knows that he fingers himslef in the ass with his toothbrush, and then spies on his brother and then they both go have passionate anal sex and give each other rimjobs in his "playroom". (Kinda spooky huh?) All the exercise this fat tub of shit and lard gets is at school. He cannot bench press his bodyweight (pussy), he cannot power clean his bodyweight (pussy), and worst of all he only squats 60 pounds over his bodyweight which is pathetic (also, pussy). His early maturity gave him an edge in middle school, but, now, other school childrenhave long gone caught him and past him. He will not make the junior varsity basketball team. He will not make the varsity 7-on-7 team, and he sure as HELL won't make varsity football. If he somehow makes varsity for playoffs it will be because he is the backup's backup's backup for deep snapping. Another sorry case of how bad he sucks at life and sports and school. Many girls wonder about him because he hasn't had a girlfriend since the seventh grade. That is pathetic. He is addicted to porn, and would much rather please himself than have a girl do it for him. He is very prude and would probably rather let a boy that he knows touch his penis, than letting a girl touch it. The final moral of the word is don't let your kids play video games and become lazy, non-working, fatass bastards.

"Whoa! Is that kyle I see outside?"
"Why, yes, I believe it is?"
"He never comes outside."
"Well, his dad just got a new toy. It's a projector that projects the imac screen onto the side of the house."
"Oh. What a queer. Now I know why he is 'cumming' outside more often."
"Yea, what a loser."

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