graduate job

Something that all university students are told they must set out to attain, without which their life will be deemed societally worthless and all their dreams will never come true.

Got a graduate job yet Steve?

No not yet.

Sorry to hear that...have you considered having yourself euthanised?

Mcintyrism

Creating a false observation, then convincing your particular audience it really occurs, in order to make a joke a about it. This particular type of comedy has been utilised to profound effect by the hugely overrated Michael Mcintyre

Dude you know when you're walking along and randomly start sneezing every 3rd step you take?
Shut up douchebag, you're so shit at Mcintyrism.

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Wanknag

The overwhelming desire you acquire to have a wank at a time when there is no oppurtunity to do so, often at formal event etc.

God in that interview I was absolutely pining for a wank, proper wanknag