Sales & Marketing Director

The Sales & Marketing Director is an individual that spends an exorbitant amount of time contemplating marketing & selling. Whilst not actually understanding the product. But manages to actively sell himself with pretty line charts, inventing facts and interfering with things he neither understands nor is within his remit. Trying to make himself look good by making others look bad.

“The new Sales guy has started! We have been told he is our last, best hope! He is the Sales & Marketing Director”. Only to hear in reply “oh this guy with the pretty line charts & post it notes? He can’t sell for toffee, let alone count… spends all his time interfering in what doesn’t concern him, is about a disappointing as Luke Skywalker in “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” and I have heard their is another…”

Self-Bilal'd

When something inexplicable has gone wrong in the Network Operations Centre, that is more irritating than serious, and someone is trying to cover it up. Then an event log is reviewed.... and the person reviewing the event log is the person that has done something more irritating than serious. Setting themselves up to fail.

So George.......... it was you that caused that irritating error? You saw this in the event log? So you Self-Bilal'd...?

Fucknapped

Fucknapped or being subjected to a Fucknapping. Where a couple have not been seen for an entire week to ten days after the parents have gone on Holiday. Giving the impression of a missing person or kidnapping. But they are really fucking thier partner & sleeping all week long without leaving the house.

Has anyone seen Jennifer or James since last weekend? No, its like they have been kidnapped since Jennifers parents went on holiday.... Dont worry, James is being fucknapped. The pair have been fucknapping all week!!!

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Mintied

Mintied - When you look at something given to you by Bilal, it looks good & you accept it at face value.....

Martin "I sent it here, which appears to be the wrong place. But, I asked Bilal where to put it and this was what he linked me...... George replied "You trusted a link? You must be mintied".

spotlight

used as a euphemism for vagina/pussy

source heidi montag's "body language." song

"And I don't think I've ever heard someone refer to her vagina as a "spotlight" in song before, but it seems to fit. Ugh. I feel the need to listen to some Art Bears now."

(thanks for words sarrible)

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Dumvid-19

What people get sick from when they don’t follow mandatory requirements or recommendations.

So what did Pavel get sick with? Dumvid-19... he refused to wear a mask when he was at the all you can eat Buffet in Frankfurt.

assmageddon

Assmageddon - when you drink 500ml of Prune Juice straight, you empty you bowel 30 minutes later in a single delivery.

Bro! Clean the toilet! It’s like an assmageddon in there!