Fucking Monkey

>n. (pl. Fucking Monkeys)
2 The Nature Conservancy organization revealed to the scientific community in February 8, 2010 that Pan pugus is actually a parasitic mammalian organism that latches on to a desired target. Behavioural analysts of the Nature Conservancy published an article denouncing the species to be a "pest to wildlife, even humans." At maturity, the Fucking Monkey metamorphoses its anatomical structure into a horrendous appearance, and begins looking for a "mate" (prey). If the prey is Homo sapien, the Fucking monkey proceeds to figuratively "latch on" to its target, and siphons time, and capital slowly. The unfortunate victim will not realize malevolent effects until all his or her time and capital have been siphoned away. Pan pugnus will then "break up", or latch off from its victim. Finished prey will be nothing but a shell, and may be emotionally unstable, until companions console him or her.

Me - "That Fucking Monkey is so ugly..."

You - "It's because it metamorphosed."

Me - *vomit*

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