Random
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Random
when a man tries to hide his premature ejaculation by continued penetration with an improvised phallus
Banged that chick from the organic coffee house last night-
Sweet how did it go?
I fuckin pre-jacked
You cunt! Did you make like a banana and split?
Fuck no, didnt want her to know so i did the ol junkyard jangle finished her off with one of me work boots, she couldnt tell the difference.
16π 1π
When a male inserts his adam's apple into a females anus and/or vagina.
"That bitch was eyeing my neck something fierce! I knew damn well she wanted a sneaky apple!"
the uncontrolled expulsion of crummy faeces during extreme bouts of laughter.
Catch SNL last night?
F yeah, laughed so hard i did a shortbread squirt.
An emotional disease, that mainly affects the heart. When you are sighted by a wild Troy, you will be instantly randy and willing to get filled with his hot beast. No known cure has been discovered, there is however, a remedy; If you fondle Troy's sack aggressively, squeeze both his nipples thrice and softly whisper your darkest fear to him, he will retreat
Dude 1: My wife has a serious case of Troyberculosis...
Dude 2: How can you tell?
Dude 1: Our child looks exactly like Troy! The missus didn't stand a chance.
Dude 2: Mate... Troyberculosis only affects males. I think your wife may of just fucked Troy...
Dude 1: Shiiit
to masturbate while under the hallucinogenic effect of opioids
Dude 1: that new VR porn is so realistic! It took me to all kinds of places besides the bedroom.
I remember surfing the pacific, wrestling some hobos, going down on Danny Devito and punching a puma!
Dude 2: umm I was using the VR headset last night....
Dude 1: Oh...I may have just done a whole heap of heroin instead
Dude 2: .....
Danny Devito: next time you hasturbate fella leave me out of it!
Dude 2: bet he didn't complain last night! (high fives dude 1)
8π 1π
when a males ejaculate fails to hit its intended target
I banged that chick from the Tofu bar.
How was it?
It was good right until the moment I strayjacked, hit her mum in the eyes as she was delivering us some wheatgrass shakes.
A word shouted in fear when death is inevitable.
Usually cried out in a guttural roar.
Ash was very excited, it was terribly hard to sleep that night. She was looking forward to a big birthday celebration the next day. A party with all the spoils of a Birthday awaited tender Ash. As she closed her eyes, awaiting precious REM sleep, she was interrupted by a loud noise outside the house. "The fuck?" Ash puzzled. The sound was much more aggressive the second time. "Cunt's fuck! Sounds like mi car" Ash got up to investigate. She peeped through the blinds...everything was normal. "Time to get forty winks" she said to no one. "But first" She ventures outside to see if the car is locked. As she creeps closer a balding, toothless bogan from her past appears! "Ya gotsta holp mi I'm neeeed cash for droogs!!"
The wank stain says incoherently. Ash quick to react, jumps in the car, turns the engine over to escape. "Don think bout leavin papa noids his fix!" The man shouts in desperation. The man hangs on to the car door as Ash tries to reverse. "Doooooggg" he screams. Ash fangs it. The man slips from the car door, his head now underneath the wheel "ASHLAAAYYY!!!" he screeches in bogan speak. Almost seeing his demise, Ash parks and steps out of the car. Maybe she has forgiven him? She walks toward him with a smile, he is ready to embrace her. Instead she quickly boots him in the nads, spits on his thinning hair, shoves 50 cents up his anus and runs inside. Ash has the best sleep she has ever experienced that night.