Pantomime

A dream of particularly absurd situations in which one would only find themselves if they lived in a Darrin Aranofsky film or a Netflix room-com after school special.
One may experience a pantomime after a night of gorging on Welsh’s fruit snacks and inhaling Monster energy—especially while watching American Beauty or any PTA film.

A pantomime can be further described as a particularly gay dream. Made specifically for young closeted gay teens who have yet to understand why they think the way they think.

Guy1: I dreamt up this crazy pantomime last night

Guy 2: aw man how do you feel?

Guy 1: well done dunno. I feel like shit but I got this buzz

Guy 2: jeez man when’d you go to bed

Guy 1: yeah like 4 in the a.m.

Guy 2: holy shit!! No wonder

Guy 1: nah man I hit the monster hard. Plowed through a whole case of monster

Guy 2: fuck man. Those things are bad for the heart

Guy 1: hey whatever. Bad for the heart good for the soul. Anyway spent the night jerking off to Casey Affleck.

Guy 2: jeez man. I didn’t know you were a Pufta

Guy 1: fuck you man I told you I had this pantomime

Guy 2: no thanks man I’m not that way

Guy 1: no way man. Just a little lick

Guy 2: alright cum’ere you

Guy 1: holy shit! I just jizzed my pants. Was that a pantomime or a Van Sant-PTA collab?

Sam O’Nella Academy

Has a voice that cause cum to run from your ears.

Person one: I wish Sam O’Nella Academy would post again

Person two: Yeah, I haven’t had an Eargasm since his last video

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Griffen

The coolest, sexiest, most amazing guy you’ll ever meet. He has amazing hair and beautiful lips. He can play the saxophone and he is an incredible artist. He’s the kind of guy you see and immediately get a stiffy. You’ll find your eyes are drawn to a Griffen as he is irresistible to look at. His smile is so cute it’ll make a new born puppy commit suicide. If you have a Griffen in your life, you’ll dream about him at least once a week. You’ll do anything for him, from licking his toes to bending over so he can fuck your ass. When a Griffen leaves, you’ll be completely devastated. You’ll feel empty. Nothing else will matter. When Griffen leaves, god is dead. You’ll wish that you had talked to him more. You’ll wish you had just one more moment alone with him. Griffen is the reason society hasn’t fallen into shambles. What’s even worse than when a Griffen leaves you is when you are forced to leave a Griffen. When you leave a Griffen, you won’t want to die, you will have already died. When you leave a Griffen, mercy will be begging for your soul.

Oh God… there’s Griffen… I think I just came a little.

Person one: I can’t stop thinking about my dream last night

Person two: What’d you dream about?

Person one: I dreamed Griffen tied me to his bed and fucked my brains out

Person two: Oh God… Griffen? I wish I could dream about him

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