anal fruit

n. The goodies that lie inside your lovers ass hole, that are their for your oral/penal picking.
or, the outgrowth of the seed expunged into a man/woman's anus when they do not wash or douche it out quickly.

Ted: Last night, I totally got a taste of Emily's anal fruit. But she can't have mine. She CANNOT HAVE MINE! I'M NOT GAY DAMMIT!
Tom: Wow...what was that all about?
Ted:.....Tom...I think I want to wallow about your assy citrus groves.

John's anal fruit grew into a full grown disgusting mass in Tammy's dirty, dirty diseased ass.

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Cookie Coma

n. The sugar-fueled diabetic sleep that results after wolfing down more cookies than you feel your body SHOULD be able to take. Possible side effects could mean waking up in a dough dump; n. The Cocaine-induced high you may find yourself in when the world just sort of slips away and 24 hours later, you are unable to even remember if you were tripping balls or not.

1. My 100 hour cookie coma was so wonderful! I'm even forced to live on insulin due to my binge-ful eating! hoorah!

2. "Where.... wh, whaa.....Who/Where/What/When/Why the Fuck am I?"

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Dough Dump

n. Phrase used to describe dropping a seriously large amount of money, dough, on any given purchase at any given time. Can also be used as an adjective, when saying you are Dough-Dump'ing'- In the process of dropping an Ass-load of money on any purchase.

Hey Jerry! My dough dump at the whorehouse turned out to be very profitable in my soul and in my bedroom!

Jay-Z's charity contributions ain't got shit on the dough I be dumpin' on the AIDS research foundation!

Dough Dump

n. Literally read, the anal aftermath of sucking down an entire tube of your choice of cookie dough; v. participating in said squishy ritual.

Person 1: Holy Crap. That dough dump was way too mushy for
my liking, but I feel SO much better!
Person 2: Wow. Sounds pleasant/brutal. What did it look like?
Person 1: Well, come here. Watch this video of 2 girls with
me and you'll see......

Facing the Pillow

v. Much like facing the music, this term implies owning up to something you've done, or to the anger of many a relative, such as a wife, sibling, or even lover. Unfortunately, this particular term refers mostly to the outcome of fessing up, and means becoming smothered by the other person in this little play due to their outrage at your mistakes.

Johnny: Help! 911 operator! I just told me wife I cheated and now I'm hiding in my room because I'm facing the pillow!!
911 operator: Well, let us know where you live, and someone will be there to help right away.
Johnny: I live at<MMMMMPPHHH! MMMMMMMMM!! UUMMMMMMMMHHHMMUU UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
911 operator: Sir. Where did you say you lived?
Johnny:...........................
Johnny's wife: Sorry ma'am. My husband mis-dialed.
911 operator: Well then! Have a wonderful evening ma'am!

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Putt around

v. Also know as 'putter around'.
1. To practice golfing on the green next to the hole.
2. To have extremely teasing/tantric sex with a woman. Basically, to rub the tip of the penis around the vagina, as well as put just the tip in and pull out again. This teasing of the woman's sex organs can turn her into a wild sex-craved demon. It's not just men who get aroused by a good tease (so long as it ends up with a naked couple in the sack).

1. Tiger Woods should probably putt around more, especially after his 2008 Masters' performance.

2. All it took John was about 2 minutes of puttering around with Jill's downtown bonanza and she turned into a sex-craving wild woman. Men, tip your hats to John for the extra work to get what he really wanted as well. You clever fella.

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Textual Massage

adv. Placing a cell phone which has been set to vibrate in the bottom corner of your pocket so it is close to your 'danger zone', or touching the top of your inner thigh. Upon a text message, the phone will vibrate, sending small, yet glorious pleasure waves and sometimes tingles down your spine.

Eric: Dude, last night, Erica and I were chatting back and forth, and she gave me a series of textual massages.
Tom: Really? hot dude! WOAH!! I'm getting one right now. hehe...he....'scuse me while I go to the bathroom for about 5 1/2 minutes.

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