fire lock

As in, "to be under fire lock." A word used to describe a person who is experiencing the momentary stun one feels at the first blare of a fire alarm.

Seriously, how are you supposed to act calm in an emergency when you seize up and start bleeding from your ears?

*Someone blows out a match in the storeroom, fire alarm sounds*

"Holy shit! I think Jim's heart just stopped!"

*covering ears* "Nah bro, that fuckin' fire alarm just put him under fire lock."

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Jack Daniels

A non-topical medicine that can heal many external injuries. Best results are given when ingested through the mouth.

"You got pretty beaten up last night. I just got this medicine from a good fellow named Dr. Daniels, although his friends call him Jack."

"Excellent, Jack Daniels. Bottoms up"

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Mike Litoris

Mike Litoris is a California homeowner who was interviewed about a fire in his neighborhood. Jury’s still out on whether Mike punked the reporter, or if that’s really his name. Either way, we just found the best prank call name EVER. Hugh Jass, you’ve just been replaced.

"Yeah, I'll buy from you guys. Could I get transferred to my friend who works there? Yeah, his name's "Mike," last name "Litoris."

"Hey, where's Mike Litoris?"

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