Final Present

Term applied to the sexual gratification given by one person to their partner on a special occasion.

Co-worker, "how was your birthday yesterday?" Colleague, "awesome thanks, the missus gave me a treat, after pleasuring herself as she watched me take her hot girlfriend up the arse, she then finished me off with her mouth, a great final present!"

baternity leave

Noun, the name given to conventional paternity leave which is seamlessly bolted on to a period of sick leave.

Graham, "what a tosser Seb is, he's meant to be working on that project but he's gone on baternity leave," Colin, "yeah, amazing, he caught that bug just in time to get a straight five weeks off; fucking planned it I think."

borona

Noun, the name given to that first, very welcome beer after a period of abstinence (typically owing to illness) which is ruined by being stuck at the bar with some boring cunt

Greg, "I had just got out of hospital and was having my first beer, but fuck me Carlo was there and came over." Matt, "you poor cunt, he's so dull, you must have thought why me? I don't deserve a borona!" Greg, "too right, I wished I'd died and never made it to the bar."

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Shitting rainbows and unicorns

What a female does the following morning after indulging in unprotected anal sex with a gay man who, typically, is highly desirable to both men and women, making the term one of begrudging admiration.

Lexi "Did you see Candy last night, she's such a sexy slut; she even trapped Todd?" Eva, "you mean Todd, the gay barman with the body to die for? Wow, I guess she"ll be shitting rainbows and unicorns this morning; bitch".

Whiskey Barrier

Noun, the phenomenon where the drinker (typically of whiskey) crosses the line between amiable drunkeness and becomes a miserable fucking cunt.

Or

The name given to the metaphorical chastity belt imposed by a normally sexually generous woman in response to outrageously drunken conduct.

Mark, "I got so cunted last night I crossed the whiskey barrier and became so fucking depressed I could have cut my own head off if I was not so uncoordinated."

Or

Barry, "I'll just have just the one tonight, I am feeling fucking horny and I don't want the missus to drop the whiskey barrier like last time."

Yellowhammer

The act of passionate copulation with a woman (typically a sex worker) from the Far East

Will, "you got tickets to see England versus Japan in the rugby?" Rob, "well the wife thinks so, but actually I'm off to Madam Suki's for an hour for a proper Yellowhammer!"

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W.I.C.A.R.D Brief

Whiskey Inspired Casually Aggressive Relatively Drunken Brief. The inspirational status brought on by sufficient quantities of whiskey, prior to or with complete disregard for the whiskey barrier whereby anything seems possible and wisdom is imparted by the inspired individual and shared via social media.

Mark, "I'm posting Boogie's W.I.C.A.R.D Brief on Instagram he more or less went like this: 'fellas I'm going to be even more pissed tomorrow so I'm saying now good luck in the match tomorrow, smash cunts! Fuck, hurt bastards. Cunt! Smash' - fucking awesome!"