Crypt-keeper

(Noun) - A sexually-aggressive older woman (see "cougar and MILF"), now past the point of potential attractiveness/interest from her own potential conquests; usually identified by rail-thin body, over-exposing tight clothing, a cloud of expensive perfume (presumably to mask the odor of decay), tight facial skin that favors stretched plastic wrap, unblinking reptile-like eyes, and makeup that looks like it was applied by a Hollywood special-effects artist.

This reference is also due to the creature's innate horror-film-like ability to appear attractive from the rear, yet upon turning around they will immediately startle the other person; crypt-keepers are commonly known to be able to frighten small dogs and can cause babies to burst into tears.

"Whoa... she went from 'MILF' to 'cougar' to 'crypt-keeper' in a space of only three years!"

18👍 10👎

Failhawk

A mohawk (or fauxhawk) hairstyle that is broken by the presence of an obvious baldspot.

Hey, check out fat guy on the Harley trying to look all badass. That failhawk 'do sure completes his look! (yells across street) FAIL!