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Finch’s nuts

Beautiful, elegant, immersive rations of Mother Nature. These almonds are picked from only the tallest, finest, most frivolous of trees. Each nut is roasted with a delicious honey glaze, with honey from only the finest hives. The miraculous nuts cure all illnesses, known and unknown. No nut can compare to the indefinite nutritional prowess of Finch’s nuts.

Stephen: Yo! Heard your grandfather was on his deathbed. What happened?
Bill: He had some of Dylan’s nuts. They turned every cell in his body into cancer. But we gave him some of Finch’s nuts and he was good as new.

Stephen: Oh! My mom was saying something about those, says they fixed her marriage.

Bill: Yeah they’re the goat.

by Greater60 March 24, 2023


Dylan’s Nuts

Uranium filled pleasure pustules. In which belong to Dylan, that slimy bastard. That slippery soup stick. That devious man.

Steve: WHY IS YOUR GRANDFATHER ON HIS DEATH BED!!???!!!?!!
Finch: Dylan’s nuts.

by Greater60 March 24, 2023