Laughing Academy

insane asylum, mental institution

"Sally ought to be put away in a laughing academy."

(From the 1940 Hal Roach comedy Turnabout based on a short story by Thorne Smith.)

linguasphere

Linguasphere (it seems intuitively obvious, doesn’t it?) refers to that realm of existence composed entirely of language. It does this in the same way that "atmosphere" or "blogosphere" do for their constituent parts. Right now "linguasphere" is used as a technical term almost exclusively by a Quebecois linguistics outfit intent on cataloguing all the world’s languages (The Linguasphere Observatory), but its usefulness is hard not to appreciate. Linguasphere can also be used to describe the broad language realm of a particualar language, e.g., "the Italian linguasphere."

"So I framed the word in my mind and then released it into the linguasphere."

"People are getting so sloppy about what they say that it's time we cleaned up the linguasphere."

"That word floats high in the the English linguasphere."

cellephony

Just like telephony, which is defined as “ the working of a telephone or telephones,” cellephony ( or alts. celluphony or cellaphony) refers to the whole world of cellular telephones, cellular communications devices, and cellular telephone technology.

The company wants to extend its reach into the realm of cellephony.

“Cellephony is god’s gift to the bored and the ignored.”

“To succeed in business today, one must be an adept cellephonist.”

mushroom

The name of a current hair style popular among boys and young men. Its signature element is an oversized bush of loose, tousled hair (the mushroom) that protrudes out over the forehead in a furry shelf that would, in some extreme cases, seem to impinge on the field of vision.

Okay, buzzcut the sides but leave the mushroom in front.

She likes to get her fingers in my mushroom.

I can't see anything in the shower because when my mushroom gets wet it covers both my eyes.

jump the pot

Someone comes in and pulls the coffee pot out of the coffeemaker while it’s brewing and catches a cupful for himself or herself, then replaces the pot and walks off letting the pot continue to fill. This is jumping the pot and it’s a petty crime because Interrupting flow through the filter either early or late queers the pot for everyone else by producing a final brew that is either stronger than desired or pathetically weak.

Synonym: Potus Interruptus

Sign at the coffee station: PLEASE, DON’T JUMP THE POT.

“Hey dude, I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes for coffee and you waltz in and jump the pot.”

“Arg, this coffee tastes like crap. Someone’s been jumping the pot.

Jump the pot

A petty crime that occurs frequently at a shared coffeemaker. Someone comes in and pulls the coffee pot out of the drip stream and catches a cupful for himself or herself, then replaces the pot and walks off letting the pot continue to fill. This is jumping the pot and it either signals a low IQ or a psychopathic disregard for other people. How smart does one have to be to realize that coffee running through a drip filter comes through strong at first and weak at the finish? Interrupting this flow either early or late queers the pot for everyone else by producing a final brew that is either stronger than desired or pathetically weak. It’s simple physics, not beyond the intelligence of your average coffee drinker. So it must be the case that pot-jumpers are simply moral scum. (The one exception would be if you were able to jump the pot exactly in the middle range of flavoring. Then, arguably, the two interrupted halves would blend to form the desired brew. However, my extensive observations of pot-jumpers, who drift in to the coffee station from important meetings about empathy, social justice, and the perils of microaggressions – I work at a non-profit – tells me that even the practice of waiting for a point near the middle of the process is universally rejected by even the most socially-conscious jumpers.)

Synonym: Potus Interruptus

Sign at the coffee station: PLEASE, DON’T JUMP THE POT.

Possible uses: “Hey dude, I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes for coffee and you waltz in and jump the pot.”

“Arg, this coffee tastes like shit. Someone’s been jumping the pot.

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