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Gift wrap

The act of floating a sheet or two of shit roll on the surface of the water in a toilet bowl, then dropping a turd square in the middle of it. The centre of the paper is pushed downward by the weight and momentum of the sinking log, wrapping the shit in wet toilet paper and effectively "gift wrapping" it for the next stage of its pilgrimage.

Gift wrapping can be a useful technique to help reduce instances of splashback.

Several factors can adversely affect the likelihood of a successful gift wrap. The toilet paper should be gently floated on the surface of the water immediately prior to the intended delivery time - paper that has floated for too long will become soggy and will likely rupture at the moment of impact, resulting in a neat hole where the turd punched through and continued its journey tragically unwrapped. For optimal gift wrapping the turd should also be in one piece and not overly large. Machine-gun turds or bunker busters will not yield best results.

Curious party: Dude, did you back that one out, or are you still giving it a free ride?

Gift wrapper: No passengers on board here, man. I gave that motherfucker a gift wrap and sent it on its way.

Curious party: Nice.

by GreenLabel April 29, 2008

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