Swamp mop

Your girlfriend is on her period. The towel you're using to bang on is used to "mop up" the juices at random intervals during intercourse

That time of the month. Had to use the swamp mop twice to save from staying the comforter

Poop-dick Malone

Noun; Having an undesirable/terrible result. Usually used with heavy sarcasm

"Hey Caleb, how did your game of cribbage go"?

"Poop-dick Malone bro. I got smoked by my girlfriend".

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