crustivitis

A severe case of mutated vaginitis, where the discharge begins to scab over.

Donna: DAMNIT!!

Phillis: What's the matter?

Donna: MY THINGY ITCHES... AND IT'S THE WRONG COLOR!

Phillis: Uhhhh.... Why don't you try "washing" it??

Donna: NO WAY!@! - IT'LL GET WET! - *sneezes - violently... scab fragment grenades through skirt and embeds in parking lot asphalt.

Phillis: HOLY $#$^ !!! - You've got crustivitis!

lesbophiliac

One that has an abnormal attraction to lesbians

My Aunt Gertrude is a lesbophiliac.