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Random
1. The act of automatically assuming that a person is an ignorant, obnoxious douchebag, just because he's a white American Male. Closely associated with reverse-racism and general xenophobia, but is most often perpetuated by over-politically-correct "open-minded" white hipster girls with no marketable skills but a shitload of opinions from their community college elective courses.
2. The act of twisting or otherwise misconstruing a white American male's words to comfortably pigeonhole him into a preconceived douchebag mold.
1. A white amercian male, Upon approaching a group of average african-americans at the bar, "Hey gentleman, how are we tonight?"
Followed by the ubiquitous "MmmHmm" and other familiar dismissals.
"Ohhhhh....I get it, cause I'm white you assume I'm an ignorant, obnoxious douchebag racist. That's kind of racist in itself, don't you think? you do know I went to public schools right? Don't douche-lump me."
2. A white american male, upon approaching a group of hipster girls "Hello, you girls are looking very nice tonight, how are things going?" or something to that effect.
Responded to with "eww no thanks, bruh, take your chauvinist misogynistic racist homophobic right wing conservative pro-life thirsty ass elsewhere, we don't live to have our looks judged by your prototypical male standards, blah blah blah."
"Whoa Whoa Whoa...okay, okay, I get it...cause I don't wear skinny jeans, have gauged ears and a man-bun i must be a douche. How about you worthless dumb american girls who couldn't cook an egg start thinking for yourselves and actually contribute to society instead of working at a super-cool piercing salon and regurgitating mindless activist crap you read on your favorite blog this morning? Quit douche-lumping me."
3. White american male "That bartender cut me off, how gay is that?."
White hipster girl "oh my god you said gay, blah blah" sneers and ugly looks.
"Yeah yeah, it's 2015, not 1995, I know. Shut the fuck up, quit douche-lumping me."
When you pay a condescendingly small denomination of money to a dumb hipster girl to stick your dick in the hole of the loose hanging flesh that comprises her previously-gauged earlobe.
Can't get that annoying hipster girl to give up the pussy? Ever tried to lease-a-lobe?
Typically a trust-fund baby, someone who is deep in the throws of white suburban denial, longing to be viewed as different or special, so they grow a beard, start espousing recycled activist rhetoric, and get a series of meaningless tattoos and piercings, just to end up looking and sounding just like every other hipsturd. A real piece of shit.
Look at that guy over there in skinny jeans with a wallet chain and gauged ears smoking american spirits and talking about how this craft IPA tastes so much different than any other craft IPA. What a hipsturd.
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The most obnoxious form of hipster. Typically female or some sexually ambiguous male, tragically confined by the aimless ideals of white America's commercially manufactured counter-culture, these misguided individuals lie dormant in an utterly useless state until their finely tuned ears pick up any language that can be construed as non-politically correct, then, without fail, they will chime in to scold you with their worthless opinion, as if it's their duty to single-handedly rid the world of all bigotry. Although typically pretty stupid when their logic and beliefs are questioned, they're smart enough to recognize that expressing outrage over words like "gay" or "rape" or "abortion" will garner them the attention their parents never gave them, and thus cannot control their impulse to unnecessarily stir up stupid shit when you're just having a normal conversation.
That pierced up freak girl who didn't get asked to prom finds comfort in the blind solidarity of her fellow nonsense-spewing hipstirrers.
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