Twat Tax

When you working behind the bar and a customer is being a right twat so you apply the twat tax

Customer: Oi bartender, I've been waiting forever, pour me a double vodka coke

Bartender: *Applies the twat tax and discreetly pours single vodka coke and charges for a double*

Jiujitsu

The art of folding clothes while people are still in them.

You know jiujitsu?

Yea mate so shut the fuck up or I'll fold you like a deck chair